For Husband T-Shirts

"Call Jane."

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Come dine with me!

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Butterfly Woman

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

You're my Mona Lisa.

Larry's used art

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Killer Executive Suits.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Gender Equality

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Police Feline Unit

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.