Football Steward T-Shirts

The public and private lives of a football steward

"Would you like some wings?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'There was a time I thought humans were as smart as we are.'

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'

'I'm hiring a football equipment manager to add some padding to my résumé.'

Referee's Free Kick Pack

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

'You wished to see the house red?'

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'I think you should know, I put a piece on 'YourTube' praising your stewardship.'

A sign at a restaurant - Food left unattended will be eaten by the waiter.

'Happy New Year!'

"I always thought you blokes were supposed to be impartial."

Red Card on the Podium

Our Job Steward

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

'You may be wondering what a sex scandal has to do with managing the national team...'

'Fitzroy, the sea is a bit too cold to swim in. Would you please go and get the immersion heater?'

'Ssssssh! There it is again. Hear that? It sounds like a muffled scream.'