Football Skeptic Pillows

'I've wasted decades convincing myself that I actually like football.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

End of football season - UK

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

World Cup. Half Empty.

Match Fixing in Malaysia

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'I'm sorry but the manager doesn't like me taking calls at work!'

"It's simple, really. You're a team member when you want something. You're an employee when I want something."

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

"I hate golf. There's something unnatural about a game where the lowest score wins."

A couple of muskrats talk: 'Frankly, I've had it with hockey.'

'They call me 'ka-ching'...I'm the go-to cash player.'

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

'I will need to watch the replay.'

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

The Thinking Man's Rugby

"Sorry, I don't know what a handball is anymore either."

"What kind of idiot gets suckered into something like that?"

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

'We lost six nil!. . . and we were lucky to get the nil!'

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'