Football Banter King T-Shirts

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Football Bomb

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

If at first you don't succeed, deflate the football.

(Carl's Sports Bar) - 'Hockey Sucks!!' - Although Earl had made good on his dare, it would be weeks before he could eat solid food again.

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

"The All-Star Game is just a fun way to decide which league will host the San Francisco Giants' next championship romp.*"

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

'Nesbitt will do all our Monday morning quarterbacking.'

'Oh, the poor dear - he's fallen down again!'

'Foot balling phillistines, how soon they forget.'

"We've made some adjustments for social distancing."

French football explained - 50p.

'Spit him out, Vince! This is just practice. Save the rough stuff for the game.'