Foot Massage Aficionado Mugs

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

'I also offer massage therapy.'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

Couples Massage

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

Cutting Toenails.

Toe-Tickling Machine

Doctor to man with baseball player and footbal player on feet: 'You have a bad case of athlete's foot.'

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

I fired my masseuse today. She rubbed me me up the wrong way.

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

'Only way I could get him to come was to tell him it was massage therapy.'

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

Podiatrist to patient: 'Ok ... who's gonna foot the bill?'

"I'm glad you're enjoying the massage feature on your new chair, but can you lower the setting a bit?"

"Don't panic, you're safe: he's my next appointment..."

'Sure, it's an improvement. But I guess we'll need to get to the airport a lot earlier from now on...'

'Alright, I'll give you a discount...'

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."

"So, is this your very first visit to a massage therapist?"

Man sees door sign at Podiatrist's office: 'This Little Piggy Went to Market'.

"I like having my head scratched but what I really love is deep tissue massage."

Employee of the month makes good use of the soup of yesterday.

Paul's Bunions

"You may lick my feet. You may not suck my toes."

"Basically, the job is hands on training."