Foodie With Patience Pillows

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'Do you, Freddie Finicky, promise to eat all your dinners up?'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

'Enlighten me!'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

Instant Slimmer Soup.

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

Restaurant. Special: Fricken Chicassee. The chef shouldn't write the special when he's angry.

Supermarket Aisles.

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

"There, dammit. Is that enough pepper for you??"

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"

"Yes, your blood work is not good! Going after the weak, sick or old is not conducive to eating well now, is it?"

'We serve comfort food in a laid back atmosphere, so lower your expectations, be prepared to wait, and I'll be back for your order unless I go home.'

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

"I don't like sweetcorn".

'The chef apparently doesn't know how to accept a compliment.'

"I'm sorry, have you been grimacing long?"

"Cream coloured ponies, crisp apple strudels, doorbells and sleighbells, schnitzel with noodles. . ."

"I'm one of those fortunate people that can ear what they like."

'Friday morning is no good for me- I'll be settling someone's hash!'

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street."

Guy begging for money holding his hat out. Next to him an out of work chef holding his frying pan out begging for money.

"It's your tip to lose."