Foodie With Opinions Pillows

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

"So, you want to compliment the chef on his entree, complain about the main course, and you'd like his recipe for the banoffee pie?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'The Burrito King.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Banana Split Personality

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Jewish Geometry

Diner

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'What do you do with the thumbs?'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Baloneystini

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'