Foodie With A Wine Focus Pillows

"This wine is CORKED!"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I make it myself!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

Woman thinking about luxuries.

Wordplay: Export.

"So the wife says to me, you need to take the dog out..." "Wine list, please."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

The wine-shop

'S'more wine?'

Catch and release dating.

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

"What are they saying this week? Are coffee, chocolate, and wine good or bad for us?"

Cheers

Join me in a glass of champagne?

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"