Foodie With A Taste For The Absurd Gifts

WW1 Secrets: Steak and Kidney Pie Tank.

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

The Main Types of Cheese

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'The Burrito King.'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Banana Split Personality

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

Jewish Geometry

Diner

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'What do you do with the thumbs?'

Baloneystini

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'