Foodie With A Side Of Politics Pillows

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

hard-boiled egg...

'The Burrito King.'

Banana Split Personality

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

The Main Types of Cheese

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Diner

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'What do you do with the thumbs?'

Baloneystini

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."