Foodie With A Flair For Humor Pillows

Corporate Boardroom. This catering job will look great on my resume. I'll say I "was called into the board meeting and brought a lot to the table"!

Japanese Cuisine. What's the matter with the chef? He's just having a tempura tantrum.

"My bouche was not amused."

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The Main Types of Cheese

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'The Burrito King.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Banana Split Personality

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Jewish Geometry

Diner

Baloneystini

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'What do you do with the thumbs?'