Foodie With A Fitness Twist Gifts

"Would you like to try the Sculpt & Shred or Blast & Burn?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"That's it. We’re toast."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

But is it organic?

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

How about going easy on the carbs

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Advocado

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Flying sauces.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"