Foodie Who Doesn't Mind Waiting T-Shirts

'We serve comfort food in a laid back atmosphere, so lower your expectations, be prepared to wait, and I'll be back for your order unless I go home.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Kitchen Kapers

Important Food Groups

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Benihana style of cooking.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

The Streets - Night

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Burnt or Raw?

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Back in 5 minutes!

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Thermidor Dali

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'