Foodie Spies T-Shirts

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

GM Crops Genie.

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

CSI Fridays

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

Horse meat scandal.

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

Einstein tests his pasta-antipasto theory.

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

"Remind me - superfood or carcinogen?"

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

'Waiter! There's a . . . oh, never mind.'

"Who remembers when food wasn't genetically modified?"

Butcher Shop. Special: Soup Bones! Soup has bones?!

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'