Foodie Friends Gifts

The good and bad news for the species is we have less fat than beef.

Hot dogs served here. (Sweaty dog placing an order).

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

"Mmmmm... I told you these prosciutto rolls were to die for."

'May I strongly suggest the soy burger?'

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

"Based on our security camera footage we don't think you're enjoying your meal enough to continue eating here."

"Oh, come on. You liked it fine before you found out this was a chain."

"Honestly, Richard, couldn't you have just asked for a takeout box?"

Museum of Wine: Please don't drink the exhibits.

'OK, it's a deal: I'll get you a Christmas Turkey if you get me a big Salmon...'

You spend all day comparison shopping, and you end up with THIS stuff?

'Wow-THESE prices!!To think my mother called you a burger-and-a-beer bloke!!'

"Congratulations! I'm promoting you to be my food taster!"

Les Bons Bourgeois - Picnickers

"Give them one goat cheese crostini and they act like they own the place."

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

Hot Dogs and Burgers

"Tofu!... My favorite."

Jimmy Joe's: Face Masks, Hand Sanitizer, Xanax...

"I'll have what she's having when she decides what she's having."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"You do like octopus?"