Foodie Fan Prints

The take-out drone

'This placenta's not very filling, I think I'll nip out for a pizza.'

"Now, in addition to our regular programming, let me tell you about tonight's specials."

Olympia - Olympics - Sponsored by Ken' Kebabs Food of Champions!

'Sure it's a nuisance to run home for every meal, but it's either that or the Chinese-restaurant syndrome.'

Your stuff when you're not home. You have mail! You have 4 new messages! You have cold coffee! You have cottage cheese I can't keep fresh much longer!

Stadium. Food. Beer. In a fan vote, pizza was chosen as the favorite food this season. Ah, so the hot dog is make a concession speech!

Here's your 18-inch pipin' hot pepperoni. I will devour. Wait, give it just a minute. Must … hold … on. Roof-of-mouth burn. Another hot-pizza-related injury. Dear reader, We spare you the carnage.

'Wait! Let me get the tip.'

Party Animal, Party Vegetable, Party Mineral

'What have you got today?' - 'If you don't smell it, we haven't got it.'

'Fancy a take-away?'

'What do I recommend?.. Now you're talking.|

Bedside Manna.

"I don't normally allow it on the first date, but yes, you can take a photo of my meal."

"All our water is locally sourced. From a little something we call 'the kitchen faucet'."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"You do like octopus?"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

The Fourth Little Pig

"Even the waiters here are organic."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

What the Doctor Ordered

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'