Food Service Industry Pillows

"Rump roast?"

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Another day in the Splenda mines

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Ghostbasters 3

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"A little lamb please."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"I'm told the items marked with happy faces are especially yummy."