Food Processor Fanatic Pillows

Chefs Convention - "Not the Ken Wood?"

Counting ribs

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Fast food. Even faster food

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

'What clan do you belong to?'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"We won!"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Robin, lay off the KFC."

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Nutrition-Free Diet

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"And you guarantee it's free if it isn't delivered within thirty minutes?"

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Kentucky Fried Horse

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

His Written Work Wasn't Very Good But His Practicals Made Up For It.

'Here's the meat pizza you ordered. You don't have to tip me, because I ate the meat.'

Student Food Pyramid