Food Presentation T-Shirts

"Your check, on a bed of polenta."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

'Look how beautifully you laid out the food on the plate.'

'That food is beautifully laid out on a plate.' 'That's leftovers.'

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Tartine

"That comes with some peanuts in a galosh."

"My mom really works at keeping my lunches interesting!"

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Come dine with me!

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Any questions?"

Lethal Presentation

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."