Food Presentation Aficionado Gifts

"The presentation is dreadful."

Tartine

Come dine with me!

The wonderful world of cheese.

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"I've no idea what he said...but he's so darned cute."

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"Hold your questions until I've talked so long no one knows or cares what you're asking about."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

Beef Wellingtons

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Given the date, they must be organic.'