Food Portion Prankster T-Shirts

'Look! A ton of spaghetti and only one meatball.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

Doughnut Criminals

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

Stock Cube Crossing

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'Nice Touch!'

'Chef's salad as ordered.'

Clandestine Cuisine

Woman finding jack-in-a-box in her saucepan.

"I've made my new spaghetti dish."

Pizza Exam: 'Just deliver it around the back of 'B' block. The money will be by the window. . .'

'Firstly whip your eggs....and everything else.'

Tiny restaurant portion. Man finds magnifying glass amongst cutlery.

Fitz wasn't sure if this was a legitimate rescue or just more culinary trickery.

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

'Yech, there's a worm on my plate!' - 'That's a sausage, you fool.'

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

'Break's over, 'No-Lips!' I got a rush order for one chicken-fried steak!'