Food Photographer Pillows

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"This gnocchi with sage butter looks nothing like my friend's Instagram photo."

"I have a food intolerance - I can only eat photogenic food."

"If I photographed the food for my Instagram page do I have to eat it as well?"

Food Photography

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

Culinary surgery.

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Avocado Timeline

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

Picasso

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

Funky Chef 2

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

"Something photogenic for each of us."

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

'Quit playing with it.'

"In this restaurant, quality control means I must approve every picture you take of the food."

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"The food was terrible, but my wife said it photographed well."

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert!"

Funky Chef 1

"Omigod! It's the breakfast I made him for his birthday!"

"Would it be possible to change this to something more instagrammable?"

"I'm watching my sugar intake."