Food Packaging Pillows

"Okay, you're right! It's impossible to repack sardines!"

I'll know when the world is going to end -- all the expiration dates on food will be the same!

Health food and junk food

'Well, SURE our customers want more nutritional information, but what about OUR privacy?'

Tartine

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

Sales Research shows it's too big for them to carry home, sir.

Online Sales Company. I'm excited about the company Olympics. I hear supervisors will be in the decathlon because they're used to multitasking. The people making express deliveries will be in the sprints. Of course the people who package orders will be boxing. What about tennis? Those are the folks who handle returns.

Mixed Nuts (but mostly peanuts)

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

Access Denied!

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"It may be called a 'Butterball', but you still can't throw it at your sister!"

'Just wait! Someday you'll be old and corrugated!'

"I don't think you understand how stressful jobs like mine are.. do you realise I'm responsible for the entire cat litter packaging programme in this area."

"Boneless, gluten free, vegan, grass fed, free range, bananas."

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

Now With Organic Artifical Additives

Caution Fragile

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

Omelette aux grosses herbes

"...you came up with a milk carton that nobody can open."

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

Lack of Nutrition Information

Maraschino, Inc.

"That comes with some peanuts in a galosh."