Food Marketing Professional T-Shirts

"Our GMO team is taking a cue from the wine industry. This is pork in a box."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Apples for sale

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Team Leader

Go team!

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"#Win!"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

Made in China

Important Food Groups

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Barcode Dreams

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

Target your customer.

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

Opening the door to new customers

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'