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The Blending Of Comestibles And Foam Rubber At The Submolecular Level!

Important Food Groups

Another day in the Splenda mines

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Ghostbasters 3

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"I'll have what he's having."

If Einstein had worked in Fast Food

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

"What a slobster."

Loyd Grossman

Red Square. He's an important man, the caviar chief for the whole country. I still think he could have laughed when I call him the "Sturgeon General." I (heart) Moscow.

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"I'm regretting that I offered him free lunch instead of an increased salary!"

"Your chicken was free-range, organically raised, and named Denise."