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Spring a Leek

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Bangers and Mash

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Filet minion

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

'YAY! PATE!'

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

Stay at home food pyramid