Food Inspection Pillows

"There's traces of zebra in your barcodes."

'The best part of this doughnut is the hole!'

'The food inspector, Sir!'

'He was using eggplant - another tragic case of apple pie fraud.'

"I'm sorry sir, we are now closed."

"Is the MSG local?"

All Natural Nothing

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Your lobster was off!

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"Office of quality assurance"

*=Hotdog

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

Horse meat scandal.

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"I've been mutated into the strawberry field. Get me out now."

"I think the milk's off!"

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

Our Troubled Chowders

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

The Butcher of 35th street.