Food Inspection Pillows

"There's traces of zebra in your barcodes."

'The best part of this doughnut is the hole!'

'The food inspector, Sir!'

'He was using eggplant - another tragic case of apple pie fraud.'

"I'm sorry sir, we are now closed."

Your lobster was off!

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Is the MSG local?"

All Natural Nothing

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

*=Hotdog

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"Office of quality assurance"

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

"I think the milk's off!"

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

Horse meat scandal.

"I've been mutated into the strawberry field. Get me out now."

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

Our Troubled Chowders

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'Are these mushrooms edible?'