Food Improvisers Gifts

Corona Cupboard: Day 20

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Lockdown casserole

Garlic Free Zone.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Cat eats date.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

Culinary surgery.

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"

"I'm having friends over for dominoes, so everyone needs to clear out of the kitchen."

Picasso