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Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

"Beanirrito"

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'Is this still America?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

American style Greek cafe.

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Lemon 'merengue' pies"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Pastrami in the wild

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Sorry Sir, you've had enough,'

'What the devil is that?

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."