Food Fad Observer Gifts

"You ever notice that the gluten-free ones have a funny aftertaste?"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Queen of Quinoa

"Is the MSG local?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"Fall is coming, Snickers. We must pumpkin spice everything."

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

"In this restaurant, quality control means I must approve every picture you take of the food."

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

Popeye Switches to Kale.

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

Hoax Ethnic Food

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"Your mother eats all the wrong foods."