Food Ethics Rebel Gifts

"Butcher!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

View to the Future

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Steamed vegetables."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Is it free-range?"

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."