Food Culture Observer Gifts

"Sometimes, just to agitate them, I flash my jar on instant coffee."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"Is it free-range?"

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'George always was a hog for fast food.'

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

"They've asked for separate checks and thirteen doggy bags."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"It's okay. That's just adult-speak for hot dogs."

Chick in noodle soup.

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

'This is not Hungarian stew. Sorry, the butcher ran out of Hungarians.'

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

'One extra hot red chilli curry, $10. One super spicy vindaloo, $12.50. The look on your face when it comes out the other end... priceless.'

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert."

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

Hey, you're beef,aren't cha? I didn't recognise you without your can.

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

'I want you outta town by sundown, Partner... this is a spaghetti western - no place for a fettucini!'

"I don't like the food here, but the photos I paot make my friends envious."

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

'Supersize me.'

Yogurt, of course, is highly cultured.

"The chef would like to thank you for filling in the questionnaire and after watching you on our CCTV, he has these comments for you: You all chose the wrong wine and cutlery with your food and...'"

"Why do people around here get so agitated about stuff like yoghurt?" "It's the culture of the organisation"

"I'll have whatever is hot, fast, and artisanal."

'The vegie burgers are ready Darling...'

"The grilled snapper also comes with a bonus audio commentary from the chef."

"I thought that we were going to eat something exotic tonight - not just a traditional English meal."