Food Critic Pillows

'Avez-vous French toast?'

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

'How local is this.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

A panel of chicken judges grade another chicken's newly laid egg.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

"Here's some baby spinach - from my soil to your plate."

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Ok, who just gave my cooking a 1-star review on Yelp?"

'These fruits and vegetables are very colorful, large, free of blemishes, pulpy and tasteless.'

Man about to empty his tray into a bin labelled: 'Feedback'.

'But this can't be what I ordered ... I know I ordered somethng I like.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Well I can assure you sir, the fish was fresh when the menu was printed last tuesday.'

'It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free range scientists.'

'The lower-priced items contain genetically-modified foods not yet approved for human use.'

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

Burger chef measuring a man's mouth for size.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

We Welcome Feedback.

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

'There's absolutely nothing to worry about,sir. All our flies are organic.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

Factory foods calling their food 'home baked'.

"Which of tonight's specials is the most sanctimonious?"

"Are all of your carcinogens produced locally?"

'Are you the one whose meat was undercooked?'

Recipes from the Mrs. Marquis de Sade Cookbook

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.