Food Connoisseur Pillows

'How local is this.'

'Buying ice cream off the internet seemed like a good idea at the time.'

Gentrification of the Fridge.

'Personally, I've always liked Bordeaux with my Swiss.'

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

Kitchen chef

"Would you like a professional critique of your orders?"

"I think this would pair nicely with a decent Cabernet Sauvignon!"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Well yes, I did say pizza with everything..."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'This is my uncle Harry: He made his fortune sniffing for truffles in France...'

'French onion soup. Hold the soup.'

"By any chance do you have brioche?"

"No thanks. I had a cracker in April."

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

"Regular service or affected?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Too much cilantro

"I come here for the pepper."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'