Food Alchemist Gifts

Red Letter Days - A Promotion

'A potato made entirely out of minced beef, designed to complement out faux-meat potato burger.'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'Needs salt!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

Party time.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

I bake my own bread.

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

Olive Oil

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."