Food Alchemist Gifts

Red Letter Days - A Promotion

'A potato made entirely out of minced beef, designed to complement out faux-meat potato burger.'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'Needs salt!'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

Party time.

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

"First you make a roux."

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."

Fooling around with those genes...just keeps going.