Folly Fanatic Gifts

Dionysus

"She's a rescue."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Candle Portraits.

"Be creative...!"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

'I'm a SNOOOW-Man,...doo-doot-doo-doo, doo-doot-doo-doo, I'm a SNOOOW-Man!...'

Bad Interview Technique

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Food fight!'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Helicopter

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

'He has really taken to the training.'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

"Inside you there are two wolves..."

Toupee in a tin.

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'