Folly Fanatic Gifts

Dionysus

"She's a rescue."

Cimafunk

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

Candle Portraits.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Be creative...!"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

'I'm a SNOOOW-Man,...doo-doot-doo-doo, doo-doot-doo-doo, I'm a SNOOOW-Man!...'

Bad Interview Technique

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Food fight!'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

'He has really taken to the training.'

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Helicopter

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

"Inside you there are two wolves..."

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

Prince, another that knocks Heaven's Doors

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'