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'You never knew your father - He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and he fell in the moat.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

Swan Fairy Tales

'Are you made of sugar?'

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

The Mouse Princess

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

A vampire in a canoe.

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Rapunzel in the Morning

Don Quixote

Falstaff

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

Little Red Riding Carpet