Folk Storyteller T-Shirts

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

Children's Party

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Snake Charmer's Snake on Strike.

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

"Oh I remember, it was a particularly cold day and your daddy whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It gave me such a warm feeling inside that I knew he was the one!"

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

'It's a horror-comedy.'