Flower Presenter Gifts

The Flirtateous Period

Prize vegetables.

Showbiz Awards

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

Say it with flowers

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Presentation skills.

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"Maybe the pie chart should have been refrigerated."

Time for speeches

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

'I can't wait for Power Point.'

Barry Norman

Spring has arrived, the flowers they bloom. The birds start to sing a happier tune. Everything's great! I'm reborn and free! THUNK! Except from winter's potholes swallowing me.

How to engage an audience

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

Sir Patrick Moore.

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

"Oops! Wrong plug."

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'