Flood Resilience Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'It has less to do with loneliness than with the fact that I live in a flood-prone area and I can't swim.'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"Attitude is everything, Sid. Remember: Life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we choose to react to it!"

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

Redundancies

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

The globe vaults over Covid-19

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

"First day out of bed?"

Climate Change Contingency House

"When the rubber duck reaches eye level it's a flood. . . wow, brilliant!"

Damp? Only when the tide is very, very high.

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

'It's the Environment Agency. They're sending a leaflet on how to grow gills.'

'I'll call you back. I'm out with the dog in the fields at the moment.'

'Oy! Don't you realise there's a hosepipe ban?'

Covid Fightback

"Captain, I'm burned out!"

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'

'Well, stop watching him if it makes you stress over flood insurance.'

'Something on a floodplain, preferably.'

'Quite a downpour wasn't it?'