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Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Captain steering house through flood.

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

Thomas Keneally

'...and this is the water garden...'

"May I suggest hard a-starboard, or port, or whatever!"

The chosen few

'A feasibility study has been ordered into a High Speed Submarine link between London and Birmingham.'

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

Noah's lesser known brother.

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

'It's the Environment Agency. They're sending a leaflet on how to grow gills.'

'Your father spent so much time building the ark he didn't have time to study navigation.'

"This is a good time to be a fish."

'Well why did you put the cats next to the mice?'

"Look! They're closing the doors! Hurry! I promise we're not going to the vet!"

"Noah was having second thoughts about allowing the beavers onto the ark. . ."

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

News Celeb Divorce: Long-suffering wife tells us of abusive husband, In tomorrow's news - dignified husband tells us of vile grabbing wife.

'Bernie, sell my insurance stocks! Buy boat companies!'

"May, I don't care how wet the toilet seat gets, I turned the water off last time."

'We have to build an ark -- We're in for a MAJOR downsizing.'

'...Actually...we're trying to find our house...'

'If you didn't know how long a cubit was, you should have asked...'

'What with global warming and all, I'm sure he'll come down on his asking price.'