Flirtation Humor Lover Pillows

'Are you coming on to me?' (woman has bump on her head where man has hit her with his club.)

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

I only have eyes for you

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

Reading the sports pages.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Did you say psst?.'

"You're the woman of one of my dreams."

Aging Problems

"Swing me with your words."

'You've got those 'take-me-to-bed' eye sockets!'

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

Woman and a Mexican hat.

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

OMG UR HOT

'And may I say you have legs Frenchmen's dreams are made of...'

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

'Silent type, eh?'

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"