Flipping Perfectionist T-Shirts

PANCAKE MIX: New! No stick to the ceiling formula.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Poetry repairman

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Writer

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Hush, little baby, don’t you cry ... ever."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

'He's researching out-of-state kindergartens.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'