Polarized Perfectionist T-Shirts

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Perfection

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'He's researching out-of-state kindergartens.'

"You're welcome."

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"Hush, little baby, don’t you cry ... ever."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"Page 33, line 4..."

Parental Anxiety