Flattery Seeker Pillows

"What'll it be, handsome?"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Likes: $2.

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Meet the Enemy

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Flyfishing for dummies.

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Stick them up...'

"Beware of the frog"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Coronavirus Waves

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Quality Control

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"