Fix-it Wizard Gifts

'Your fireplace needs a flue shot.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I'll take the one on the right.'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

math faculty

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Illogic Tree

Problem Solver Wanted

"Have you tried switching it off and on again?"

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

'Let's put it this way, your Billy is the only kid in class without his own website,,,'

Handy-lion

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

I got the raise

"Renovating your bathroom?"

"Goodbye, masked consultant. And thanks for reducing our inefficiencies."

"As you insist everything must be in triplicate, meet my new secretaries."

"And I can install the latest version of Microsoft as well as Word and 17 other applications!"

The Solution!

'Thank you for calling Tech Support. Your computer is one month old. We no longer support that model. Good day.'