Fix-it Maestro Pillows

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'Yes Gov. Found the trouble you needed a new windscreen wiper blade.'

Workers rest

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

Non-Drip ?

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Computer Music

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

Decorating with Children

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

Organized chaos.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

Lawrence of Suburbia

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

"It's garage music."

Spinning Plates!

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

TV Repair 101.

'I play heavy metal.'

"Compliments to the chef. It really is superbly cooked!"

Wallpaper Music

'I think you're going to love it! Our award-winning chef microwaved them to perfection.'

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

As space walking astronaut vacuums dust particles: 'Houston, we see to have the cosmic dust problem under control.'

'What do you mean, you're not hungry? - Your mother spent two minutes cooking that in the microwave just for you!'

'I guess I should have paid the foundation bill.'

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"