Fix-it Guru T-Shirts

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair bill

'No worries son, I'll manage with my saw until my hammer turns up.'

The problem with my disposal? It's garbage in, garbage out.

Spaceman uses crater to sit in to work on the underneath of ship

Replacing a rubber fanbelt with a leather belt.

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Problem Solver Wanted

"You may have an MBA, but I can change a light bulb."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

"Take me to your mechanic."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Timber preservation

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Fixing the TV.

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Was it a fuse?"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Never marry an engineer."

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'I think I found the problem.'