Fitness Tracker Fan Gifts

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"It's a smartwatch. I use it to count my step."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was wearing a Fitbit?"

"It's an activity monitor for people with a sedentary lifestyle. It's called 'Fatbit'."

"I might not look it but my watch says I'm in GREAT shape."

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

Exercise Bars

Sisyphus during Covid

Reasonableman

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"I run around this high school track every morning."

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Soccer kids texting

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'