Fitness Irony Enthusiast Prints

'I only jog to be social.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Fast Food Dieter

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'But I feel quite healthy.'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'OK, that's two triple bacon double cheese burgers with extra mayo. Would you like a will with that?'

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

attorney at law

'Oh yeah? Well, Dr. Rose predicts that my inevitable stress-induced massive coronary will strike in half the time as yours.'

'Congratulations. You're the world's first exercycle potato.'

My exercise routine is to change channels every time there's an ad about junk food.

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'I'm sorry, we can't declare you the winner. You have high blood pressure.'

home fitness/fatness

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

Running Shoes: 'They should be back soon.'

'I can't use it...I can't afford the gym membership!'

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

"Let's fight obesity - left leg up..."

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"

'Make it a double and make it neat: I'm trying to cut back on flouride.'

His six pack must be all of six hundred-plus nowadays!

Prescription Diet

'You're in bad shape...except for your jaws.'

"My exercise routine is to change channels every time there's a an ad about junk food."

'This exercise machine does away with the pretense of a working out. It features a dozen hooks for a hanging clothing.'

Warning: Quitting smoking will greatly reduce your chances of getting a piece of the settlement pie.

If life is a journey, mine is on a treadmill.